Funnies

[RickK]

Borrowed these from another site  

MAN KILLED ON GOLF COURSE. ANOTHER SEVERELY INJURED.


A foursome of guys are waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of
women are hitting from the ladies' tee.

The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit
her ball, she hacks it 10 feet. Then she goes over and whiffs it
completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five
feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,
"I guess all those f@#king lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responds, "Well, there you have it, you
should have taken golf lessons instead!"

He never had a chance to duck.

[RickK]

A Husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart.

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans,' he replies.

'Put them back, we can't afford them,' demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping.

A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket.

'What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband.

'It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Budweiser and its half the price.'

On the PA system:

"Cleanup needed on aisle 3. We have a husband down."